When I had my dentist appointment last week, my mom came with me (it always makes things easier when you have motherly moral support!). Well, during her 2 1/2 hours of waiting, she read through the latest edition of Reader's Digest.
You know that slap-happy, everything is hysterical bug that explodes through your body at the most inappropriate, akward times? Well, apparently it joined mom in the waiting room with her Reader's Digest read. I could hear her laughing from the pateint room! She even called my sister on the phone to read her these hilarities :) I don't know if you'll laugh as hard as my mom did at these, but at least I hope they bring a smile to your face.
Or if you're like me, reading these things at work in the quite office, I hope the bug joins you :)
-A tour bus stops in Runnymede, England, and the guide says it was here that the Magna Carta was signed. "When did they sign it?" one passenger asks. "1215," the guide responds. "Dang! We missed it by 20 minutes." - William Ludewig
-It's really humid in the woods, so the two hiking buddies remove their shirts and shoes. But when they spot a sign saying "Beware of bears," one of them stops and puts his hoes back on. "What's the point?" the other says, "You can't outrun a bear." "Actually", says the friend, "all I have to do is outrun you." - Don Paquette
-I have CDO. It's like OCD but with the letters in alphabetical order, like they're supposed to be." - Hanan Rahman
-What did the airhead name her pet zebra? Spot. :)
-A group of guys are in the locker room when a cell phone rings. One of them picks it up.
Woman: "Honey it's me. Are you at the club?"
Woman: "Well, I have news. The house we wnated is back on the market. They're asking $950,000."
Man: "Well, then, go ahead and make an offer, but make it $1.2 million so we'll be sure to get it."
Woman: "Ok! I'll see you later. I love you!"
Man: "Bye. love you too."
The man hangs up. Then he asks, "Anyone know who's phone this is?"